Undeserving

The days of the week each have a name.
Days can be special and noted as a birthday or anniversary.
Days can be put on the calendar as vacation days.
However, I have come up with a new name for a special kind of day: Grandma Day.

I have heard friends of mine tell me the wonders of being a grandparent.
I have heard them say that there is nothing like it.
I believed them but only from a distance.
I never knew by experience how very special it really is, until now.

I had a Grandma Day.
I had a day at my daughter’s house.
I was available to help her with things around the house while she is recovering.
I was available to cuddle with my sweet granddaughter.

Oh, how I was available.
It was not a chore at all.
It was my pleasure.
It was pure joy.

I forgot how small babies really are in those first few weeks.
I saw her little legs, her cute toes, and her curled fingers.
I looked at her little rose bud mouth move in a sucking motion.
I watched her dream as she slept.

My daughter had music playing in the background for the entire day.
My sweet granddaughter seems to love music already.
Music is soothing.
Music is calming.

I love to watch my daughter be a mother to her daughter.
I love to see the love affair that happens between a mother and her child.
I saw a tiny smile on my granddaughter’s face when her mother talked to her.
Many would dismiss that but I know what I saw.

Those smiles will happen more and more as time goes on.
God designed it that way.
Those infant smiles, crooked and quick to come and go, are an encouragement to a young mom.
Those infant smiles help her to press on.

I changed my granddaughter.
I fed my granddaughter.
I talked to my granddaughter.
I watched her, eyes wide open, move her mouth in response.

I cannot imagine our lives without her.
She has only been here for a short time, yet she has captured our hearts.
I know she has captured my heart.
My heart is full.

There is a spot in our kitchen that tends to be the seat of choice.
It is, in reality, not a seat but a countertop.
It has been used before by my younger son.
It was the place of epic talks.

That is what he called them.
Those late night talks that happened when everyone else was already upstairs.
He would hop up on the counter and talk.
So many late night talks happened right there.

It was the night when most of her aunts and uncles visited their new niece.
We got home and my youngest daughter hopped up on the counter.
She positioned herself in the place of epic talks.
She began to share her thoughts.

Mom, when I was holding her tonight I was thinking of so many things, she began.
I held her in my arms and looked at her sweet face.
I thought: she did nothing to deserve to be part of our family.
She did nothing to deserve the wonderful parents she has.

She did nothing to deserve the aunts and uncles she has.
Everything about her life is a gift, my daughter said.
I want my own children someday, but I was struck by something else as I looked at her.
I hope to adopt children as well so that they can have blessings they might never have.

I looked at my precious daughter.
I listened to her heart.
I heard her heart poured out.
I was struck by the profound simplicity of what she said.

It hit me.
There was so much more to what my youngest daughter said.
I wanted to share my thoughts with her.
I waited and then spoke.

You just explained the Gospel, I told her.
We have done nothing to deserve to be part of God’s family.
We have done nothing to deserve the love of God the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
We have done nothing to deserve the gift of eternal life.

Absolutely nothing.
It is grace.
Grace is actually the middle name of my granddaughter.
My youngest daughter saw the Gospel clearly as she held her little niece in her arms.

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. (John 3:16)

This precious little baby did nothing to deserve anything that has been given to her.
It is the same with us.
Everything we have, and everything we are, is a gift of God.
It is grace, amazing grace.